Recently someone wrote and asked me the question, “Why do I have anxiety and depression?” I’m going to answer that question today. I’m also going to tell you what you can do to decrease your symptoms of anxiety or depression.
Overcoming Anxiety and Depression
Before I start, just let me say that I’ve been a psychotherapist for over 30 years, but I wasn’t always a therapist. I started out being very anxious and depressed, just like some of you who are watching today.
My most important lessons about anxiety and depression didn’t come out of the psychology books that I studied—they came from my own experience of struggling to overcome my own anxiety and depression.
When I started to feel better in my own life, I took what I had learned and began practicing it with my clients in therapy. It’s been a wonderful experience. My ‘JoyIAm Process’ has worked beautifully with my clients. They blossom into happy, healthy people when they practice it.
Unresolved Emotional Pain
So let’s get to your question— “Why do I have anxiety or depression?” You have symptoms of anxiety or depression because there was hurt or pain sometime in your life and you never learned healthy ways to express and release your feelings.
You see, your unresolved emotional pain is stored in your unconscious mind. When you don’t know how to release it in healthy ways, it creates problems in your life. Sometimes it shows up as anger or negative behavior, and sometimes it creates symptoms of anxiety or depression.
Have you ever had a really good cry and then woke up the next morning feeling refreshed and rejuvenated? That’s because expressing your feelings actually releases your emotional pain, so that your body doesn’t have to store it up anymore.
It feels absolutely wonderful when you can let go of some of your emotional baggage! It makes you feel like laughing and having fun again.
Our Psychological History
But to go a little deeper with answering your question about why you have anxiety or depression, it helps to understand that Psychology is still a new science.
Freud, who was the Father of Psychology, only practiced in the early 1900s. Your parents and grandparents who were growing up then didn’t have the knowledge and awareness that we take for granted today. No one taught them how to be healthy and happy.
So even if they were well-intentioned, they simply didn’t have the tools that they needed to help you become emotionally healthy. They were probably struggling with their own emotional issues when they were raising you.
The problem is that children don’t just magically know how to be healthy and happy. They need nurturing, guidance, support and validation. They need to be shown what to do when they’re hurt or angry.
When no one guides and supports a child through the challenges of life, the child has to survive the best way they can. What often happens is that a child’s feelings become repressed and those unresolved feelings develop into anxiety or depression later in life.
It’s Not Your Fault!
But I’ve got some great news for you today! There are actually several things I want to share with you that are wonderful news for anyone who’s struggling with anxiety or depression.
The first thing I want you to know is that it’s not your fault that you have anxiety or depression. Your parents didn’t teach you the skills you needed when you were young, because the knowledge simply wasn’t available back then.
The second thing I know you’ll want to hear is that releasing your anxiety or depression doesn’t require a college degree. It’s not rocket science. I’ve taught it to people of all ages, in all walks of life and I’ve found that all of them can learn it if they really want to.
You Can Decrease Your Symptoms of Anxiety and Depression!
So here’s the best news of all; If you learn some simple skills for emotional health and happiness and you practice them with patience and persistence, I know that you can decrease your anxiety or depression.
You probably want to know how I know that, and I don’t blame you at all! I’d want to know too, if I was you. I know that my JoyIAm Process works because of all the grateful people I’ve worked over the years.
It’s pretty wonderful to hear all the amazing stories of people who have practiced the JoyIAm Process. Their lives are very different today than they once were!
There’s a great quote by JK Rowling that I’d like to leave you with today. It says, “Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.”
Leave Your Comments and Questions
I’m going to share more videos with you soon that answer more of your questions. Until then, I’d really love to hear your response to what we’ve discussed today.
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For more information, you may also want to read some of my other posts: