Archives For emotional pain

Recently someone wrote and asked me the question, “Why do I have anxiety and depression?” I’m going to answer that question today. I’m also going to tell you what you can do to decrease your symptoms of anxiety or depression.

Overcoming Anxiety and Depression

Before I start, just let me say that I’ve been a psychotherapist for over 30 years, but I wasn’t always a therapist. I started out being very anxious and depressed, just like some of you who are watching today.

My most important lessons about anxiety and depression didn’t come out of the psychology books that I studied—they came from my own experience of struggling to overcome my own anxiety and depression.

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All of us have experienced hurt feelings at some point in our lives. Generally it’s something someone says or does that just leaves us feeling hurt, misunderstood, unappreciated or unloved.

Getting Past Hurt Feelings

Getting through those difficult feelings and getting back to feeling happy again can be very challenging. Sometimes they stay with us for days, or weeks or months, even though we really want to be free of them.

What Causes Hurt Feelings?

When someone says or does something that hurts us, our first impulse is generally to look at what’s wrong with the person who hurt us. We often think, “How could he have said the things he said? What kind of person is he (or she) to behave like that?”

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Avoiding Emotional Pain

October 31, 2012 — 4 Comments

People who are anxious and depressed are often very afraid of facing their real feelings. As adults you may be terrified to let down your guard and feel what is really going on inside yourself.

Sometimes before you can even begin the real healing of anxiety and depression, you have to work through some of the psychological defenses that you are using as a smoke screen to hide the truth.

Avoiding Emotional Pain

You probably developed these strong defenses early in life to shut off your true feelings. Those defenses were generally supported by adults in your life who told them that you shouldn’t feel what you feel.

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